Shit's Not Working Out. When is it Time to Quit?

In life, we're inundated with messages telling us that quitting is for losers—for the weak and the useless. For failures. For pieces of shit destined to a life of mediocrity.  

We're told hard work and perseverance is all we need to succeed—so quit being a bitch and get back to work, bitch! 

Sometimes it's good advice—sometimes it's bad. Because sometimes quitting is the best option—one that takes a hell of a lot more strength and courage than not quitting. 

If you've thought about quitting anything, Facebook and Instagram have probably fed you with all the inspiration and fluff you need to remind you you're a winner. And winners never quit. Success is just around the corner. And if you quit today, you'll be screwed tomorrow. 

You get the point. Again, sometimes it's inspiring for the right reasons—sometimes for the wrong. 

And on and on the cycle goes. Your Spotify playlist is upbeat singing "things can only get better" when in reality, they only seem to be getting worse.

Fuck you, D:REAM (Google them). 

Before we get into it, let's talk about context:

Unless you are taking advice — through open dialogue — from a friend who listens or someone who has a track record helping people with similar dilemmas, they likely have zero context to what you are actually going through, and therefore, are usually talking out their ass.

Friends and family might not even listen because they already think they know what's best for you based on their own context and stories.

Have you ever shared a problem with a friend where, in the blink of an eye, they offer the solution with absolute certainty? Without even the slightest investigation?

I have. And I can assure you — more often than not — they were talking out their ass.

And please remember, not one inspirational quote on the Internet has the faintest idea as to what's going on in your life or what the best decision for you is. 

Your gut knows more than anything, which is why your agony prevails—because your gut might know it's time to quit. And frankly, that's terrifying. 

So what's one to do?

Well, you could start by acknowledging that quitting might actually be the best decision for you. 

And as bitter a pill that might be to swallow, the longer you procrastinate on it, the further you will compromise your health while postponing — or flat out ruining — any chance of success or happiness in your future. 

Ok, so how do I know if quitting is the right move for me?

I can't answer that for you, but if you're not unhappy with your current set up, then should you not at least find out? 

I'd start the deliberation by putting your ambitions and ego aside for a moment and asking yourself some tough questions like;

Am I constantly stressed, anxious, or depressed?

Am I constantly burning out?

Do I feel good about myself?

Am I spending quality time with those that matter most? 

Do I feel aligned with my values?

And do I believe I'm on a path to happiness?

Pursuit is a beautiful thing, and happiness is fleeting, so really, what you're searching for is a deep feeling of contentment. 

Hint: If you answered yes to the first two questions and no to the rest, then you don't need me to tell you shit's gone wonky. Or maybe you do? 

Now ask yourself what's preventing you from quitting? 

There will be legitimate excuses and illegitimate ones. Most of your legitimate excuses are probably illegitimate. We're talking excuses, after all. 

Do you think quitting will make you look like a loser?

There's a lot of loser talk out there, so it's a legitimate concern. 

Let's put it this way: Some of the most successful businessmen and women in the world today are successful because they quit…

Jeff Bezos quit a lucrative career on Wall Street. 

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates both quit college.

And many more failed many times over in many different ventures, forcing them to quit before going on to find success elsewhere. 

Are they losers? 

They all became titans of their industries. Granted, Bill seems to be the only one that wasn't or isn't a complete prick. 

The point being, they weren't afraid to quit. 

Do you think they could foresee the future? Do you think those closest to them didn't think they were batshit? 

This isn't about becoming a billionaire...

I'd argue many impressionable depressed young wannabe entrepreneurs idolizing billionaire influencers online stand to gain a whole lot by quitting on that very ambition alone.

And let's not forget the thousands who quit high paying jobs for a simpler life that are now happier than they’ve ever been. 

It also doesn't have to be about your career…

It can be any area of your life that's just not working out, no matter how hard you seem to try. 

My guess would be Melania Trump is praying for the day she wakes up to the news her husband's been grabbing random pussy again so she can make a clean break and move on with her life.

That's just an off the head example to show you the scope, range, and versatility of the term "quitting." 

Moving-on, we often cling too long to the hope that things will work out and waste years or sometimes an entire life in the process. All because we worry about how it will make us look. Or we believe if we just keep going, the Universe will finally reward us? 

And we will always create a story to justify our decision to remain stuck, miserable, or unfulfilled because that justification means everything to us. 

Like oxygen, we need it to survive. It can be the truth or utter bullshit. Who's to say which? But it will exist. 

I recently decided to quit (ish). 

See, I'm a selfish prick. This post was for me all along.

There were about 10,000 words penned on this decision over the past 6-months, which I painfully wrote as I struggled to make it in the first place. 

Luckily, you’ve been pardoned from my bitching.

Actually, humour me. Here are just a few of my excuses...

This work comes with an awful lot of responsibility. And while I’m not one to shy away from it, you probably wouldn’t — or would? — believe just how heavy it can be.

As a business, it’s my personal belief that I would have to compromise on my integrity and moral values to achieve the success I want to achieve.

In addition, I would have to a) seriously increase my prices, and b) take on way more clients and problems than I could handle to earn a remotely comfortable living. 

Do I believe in the work I do?

Yes, absolutely. There’s is definitely a heavy imposter syndrome I deal with that’s probably held me back and a feeling that I should have all my shit together to fully qualify for the work in the first place.

Ironically, my work is the primary reason I feel I don’t have my shit together.

I will continue to do this part-time because like I said from the outset, it's a passion, albeit a warped one. 

I'm also very proud of this little blog and those I had the pleasure of helping. 

I could go on and on and on and on, but the reality is I’m not selling coke or viagra, I’m selling a management system to something most refuse to accept anything less than cure for.  

It’s not fucking easy. And, for me, just like the coke in Colombia, it has to be pure. Business messes with all that, and as I said, I’m not willing to compromise on my own integrity or morals.

I'll still sell my programs and services to those who believe in them because I've witnessed many completely transform their entire lives as a result of us working together. And that shit is deeply satisfying. 

Now, enough of my excuses. 

Maybe you want to quit, maybe you don’t? I’ve laid out my bullshit. Now it’s time for you to lay out yours…

You've got to ask yourself the difficult questions to help you decide if quitting is the right move for you or not?

And if it is, it’s time to put your bullshit excuses aside, stop procrastinating, and get to work on executing a plan that will ensure you get back to enjoying your life once again while increasing the likelihood of future success.

I love this distinction from Marie Forleo on the subject. It’s a good note to end on;

““Sticking with something *only* because you’re afraid of looking like a quitter can be a terrible idea. There are times when you must be brave enough to end projects, goals, or relationships that no longer align with who you are or what you value.

Embrace the power of positive quitting. Positive quitting is when you realize that you’ve gone as far as you possibly can in a certain direction. You’ve given your very best effort. You’ve worked your ass off, and now it’s become clear—in your heart and soul—that the wisest and most productive next step is to move on. This is different than just giving up when the going gets tough.

 Remember, just because something ends doesn’t mean it or you “failed.” If, after a certain amount of time, you sense that it’s time to move on, by all means, do it.””

Well, would you look at that, sometimes you can find the right words from a complete stranger on the internet.

As always, it's the internet. Take it with a pinch of salt.

The end.