Social Cleansing: A practical Guide for Attracting More Positive Fuckers into Your Life.

You know the saying, “you’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with—so choose wisely”?

I can’t stand that saying. I think it’s self-serving crap preached in personal development that leads to people searching for friends on merit and not whether they’re good people or fun to be around.

Of course, that can be sliced and diced. I’m just not in a slice and dicing mood.

Having said that, I am a big believer in environment and relationships.

I also believe too many keep bad company. By that I mean, they surround themselves with assholes who make them feel worthless. And nobody should have to accept that.

Not because you might end up an average asshole yourself, but to ensure you don’t end up depressed and miserable because of the company you keep.

As William Gibson said;

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.”

As great as some relationships are, others can be extremely damaging to your health.

You will have people in your life that are sinister and condescending towards you for a multitude of reasons—the most prominent being that they’re assholes. And yes, maybe it’s nothing to do with you and a reflection of their own insecurities, but that doesn’t mean you should put up with their bullying ways.

Not an area of your life to dance around, it’s important to address all that isn’t working out for you, and in all likelihood, engage in a social cleanse.

Maybe it’s a romantic partner that doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve? Maybe it’s a friend who continues to put you down and make you feel inadequate? Maybe it’s a condescending boss? A family member who always makes you doubt yourself while offering zero encouragement or support? Or maybe it’s a sprinkling of all the above?

Sure, sometimes we all need a bitter serving of the truth, but nobody needs, wants, or deserves to be treated in such a way that it causes psychological harm.

Most of us have a handful of friends who make us feel better about ourselves and more positive about life in general when in their presence. Those bubbly fuckers who exude positivity, but not so much that it makes you want to puke or punch them in the face. Everything is better in their presence as all stress just seems to evaporate. These little gems should always be cherished.

On the other end of the spectrum, you might have relationships with people that love to put you down, play on your insecurities, and make you feel like a piece of shit. But for some reason, you accept it. You give up your time to be in their presence regardless of how bad they make you feel. Some of them are so manipulative they will even spin it to a point where you’re made to feel bad if you’re not grateful for the privilege of being present in their company. The Dicks!

Why would you be in a relationship of any kind with someone if you’re not happy, and one of the reasons you’re not happy is because of them?

Believe it or not, you can do better.

A social cleanse, or a social shuffle (has a nicer ring to it) will create space for positive fuckers to come into your life as you sieve out the negative ones.

Some relationships are certainly worth fighting for, but many aren’t worth the tissue you wipe your ass with. You don’t even have to say, “hey, I’m breaking up with you,” unless you actually have to break up with them. You simply reach the conclusion that time is precious, and you’d rather spend yours with those that make you feel good.

Preparing For The Cleanse:

Consider you have three types of fuckers in your life ;

1. The Positive Fucker

These fuckers are the cream of the crop. The rarest breed. It is imperative you treat them accordingly. Be sure to reciprocate their kindness and positivity, or run the risk of being relegated to the neutral zone, or out of the picture entirely.

An example of a positive fucker would be Kevin Hart or The Rock!

2. The Neutral Fucker

Neutral fuckers are just that. Most fuckers fall into this category, and most neutral fuckers will be a positive fucker for at least a handful of fuckers in their life.

It is what it is. They’ve got their shit. You’ve got yours. There might be some name-calling and the occasional argument, but no real harm ever takes place in the neutral zone.

An example of a neutral fucker would be Ricky Martin.

(Now, some of you are jumping to Ricky’s defense, and rightfully so, but I haven’t said a bad thing about him. I’m partial to a bit of “La Vida Loca” myself, but I can’t just offer up positive status when he’s been out of my life for years. The impact just isn’t there. Even though I’m sure he’s a positive fucker for millions of devotees around the world.)

3. The Negative Fucker

These motherfuckers need to be told politely, or not, to fuck off! Or at the very least, make the necessary adjustments required to climb the ladder into the neutral zone.

Available in all forms, negative fuckers rarely have anything positive, uplifting, or nice to say. Similar to a leach sucking your blood, they will drain you of your energy and suck as much positivity as they can before you manage to escape their presence.

An example of a negative fucker would be The Real Donald Trump.

(Trump is an interesting character. He’s certainly not neutral. So, unless you want to blow him like Kanye, or you’re one of those nazi fuckers in middle America who gets offended when it’s suggested they shouldn’t shoot people, his actions are likely to only impact you negatively. Therefore, you have to ask yourself, is he really worth your attention?)

Each and every fucker plays a pivotal role in your life whether you like it or not. Obviously, we want more positive fuckers than negative fuckers. And that’s what the cleanse is for…

Initiating The Cleanse

Prepare a spreadsheet with three columns—one for each type of fucker. You then need to populate the rows to get a better understanding of the company you keep and how they are impacting your outlook and quality of life.

If you’re a data nerd, you can get real technical and create tabs to initiate multiple cleanses. You might want to start with an inner circle tab, followed by an outer circle tab, a work tab, and of course, a social media tab.

I always get my columns and rows confused, so here’s a sample of something I prepared earlier…

See what I did with the colours? I’m creative, though, so don’t stress. Like this caption—it’s optional.

Once you populate each column, I recommend you sit with it for 24 hours— just to eliminate the potential for irrational judgement. Although, in my experience, instincts are usually right when dealing with negative fuckers.

Now that you know the good and the bad, it’s time to execute and start squeezing the negative fuckers out to create space for more positive fuckers to come in and change your life for the better.

It’s as simple as that. No tab should have more than 20 people in it. That’s paramount. Except maybe the social media tab, which is another beast altogether.

Trim the fat. Do not underestimate how much positivity you can attract by removing all that is negative and holding you back. A few swift karate chops can have a massive impact on your overall health and happiness.