Finding Joy in Your Setbacks

I partially tore my MCL (knee ligament) last weekend. I had to pull off a wave surfing to avoid disaster, and in doing so, jarred my knee, heard a pop, immediately felt pain, and screamed out 'fuuuuck' in agony.

I was not a happy chappy!

Note: This is yet another life-lesson inspired by a recent event. Apologies in advance for sounding dickish. Mental and physical health are very different, I know. Yet somehow, the principles remain the same.

When I made it home, I emphatically searched the web (as you do) to see what damage I may have done.  

All signs pointed to the MCL, which is one of the friendlier knee injuries. But who knows what else might have occurred under the hood?

After resting it for a couple of days, I hobbled to the physio to see what was up.  

Fortunately, the prognosis was a good one.

A partial tear to my MCL that would take four weeks to heal if I'm lucky, six weeks if I'm not, and many months if I'm stupid. 

I think that's relevant to point out when dealing with any setback — physical or emotional — because it highlights that we have far more control over our recovery than we think. 

But more often than not, we fuck it up and make things worse. 

Years ago, I would have fallen into the stupid category, categorized by the physio as dancing drunk on tables. 

How I used to solve all life problems.

Drunk dancing on tables was what I did. That's what you would have seen me doing 14 years ago after tearing ligaments in my ankle when I was supposed to be on crutches. And my ankle took years to recover due to my stupidity.

While I was on the physio's table, I figured I might as well try to fix another nagging injury.

I don't know what it's called, but I have a muscle that no longer activates in my back. So my upper-trap (I think it's called) overcompensates and has to work doubly hard. 

This means my shoulder and neck are killing me more often than not. 

The physio confirmed my shoulder was, in fact, weak as piss and proceeded to do some dry needling (just as brutal as it sounds) to loosen it up so I could strengthen it up. 

I went in with a knee injury and walked out of there — I shit you not — unable to lift my arm.

Why are you telling me this, Nicky? 

While I do like a bit of sympathy, and I thank you for your concern, I'm not looking for a river of your tears.

The reason I am telling you this is because instead of feeling sorry for myself (which I have done A LOT in the past) and focusing on the negatives, I immediately sought out the positives instead. 

I'm not interested in being down about it. I only want solutions. To figure out what I can do to ensure I come back stronger than before. 

Told you I sound dickish, but again, the principle remains true. 

I now have daily exercises to build up my strength that I wouldn't have otherwise. And those exercises will ensure that in 4-6 weeks, I will be stronger and fitter than I was previously. 

As I type, I'm happy it happened. Joyful even. 

The lesson?

While setbacks suck. How much so depends entirely on us and how we respond to them.

Often, we need a kick in the ass to find that much-needed motivation to address the crap going on in our lives — mentally, emotionally, physically — that, when addressed, will significantly improve our reality. 

It takes setbacks to give us that much-needed kick in the ass.

The vast majority of us respond with self-pity. We don't heed the lesson or look at all we can do to improve our reality under the current circumstances. We don't adopt a solution focussed mindset. 

And in doing so, we only make our situation worse. Way worse. Drunk dancing on tables worse. 

This is just one of the many life lessons that have taken me donkey's years to learn. 

I'm just passing it on. Do with it as you will. 

It doesn't have to apply to your knee. It can apply to anything. 

What are you currently not addressing or treating that, when treated, will significantly improve your outlook and quality of life? And what can you do about it today?