The Importance of Trust & Prioritisation for Anxiety Recovery
Following a recent group call, a question was posed in the community regarding acceptance — is it something that just clicks, or is it a gradual process?
As usual, these questions are layered and complex and differ greatly from person to person. So, in an attempt to dot my I's and cross my T's, I jumped into the group, turned the camera on, pressed play, and rambled away.
If you have read through the anti-anxiety micro-course covering five fundamental skills to ensure a smooth recovery, you will know these are,
Understanding
Acceptance
Managing expectations
Patience
Self-Awareness
To be blunt, I believe you're pretty much fucked if you try to ignore them — especially when recovering from an anxiety disorder. You will constantly see people try to cheat and seek out every loophole possible in an effort to deny it, but until you accept this reality, you will only ever exacerbate it.
I know this might not be the dopamine hit one is looking for, but it's worth celebrating regardless. After all, the aforementioned is not that big a deal and will — more often than not — lead to a rapidly accelerated recovery.
But what else can we add to this list? What other vital components — or fundamentals — are missing that is essential for an accelerated recovery?
These are questions I have pondered for a while. And then suddenly — as if out of nowhere, while rambling away — they came to me: The 6th and 7th fundamentals. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I want to present to you today.
Fundamental Six: Prioritisation
I am not here to preach and tell you that I always prioritise my health because that would be bullshit. However, it is never too far from my list of priorities and something I am constantly tweaking, experimenting with, and looking to improve. I am — and always will be — a work in progress.
Fortunately — and I cannot emphasize the word 'fortunate' enough — I no longer walk around with a soul trapped in a body terrorized with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. And because of that, I have the privilege of not having to constantly worry and fret about my mental health and how in the name of God can I improve it.
Many more are far more privileged and have never had to worry about their mental health, period — the lucky bastards. And many are far less privileged, walking around in a constant state of despair, unable to find a moment's reprieve from what is — undoubtedly — a horrifying reality.
The good news is that a shitty reality can change, but, of course, it comes with a caveat.
If you belong to the latter group, your mental health should be your number one priority because the consequences of trying to ignore or suppress it are deadly. That's the bad news. The good news is that when you do decide to prioritise it, a few months of work can save you from years — or a lifetime — of misery.
Note: I am not saying that all the work that needs to be done will be complete in two months, and everything will be fine and dandy. That, too, would be bullshit. There are too many variables. But most of us can take a massive weight off in a short duration.
I do many things that are good for my mental health now that I don't even register. Without them, I might not be here. Who knows. What I do know is we don't do well at praising ourselves for our own progress while we are spectacular at berating ourselves for not having made more. We suck at perspective.
The problem arising from this is that we give up on our health being a priority all too early. Why? Because outlandish expectations are set by knobs on the internet, who pretend to relate, but really, they have no clue.
I know it is a pain in the ass and grossly unfair, but you have to earn that privilege not to feel despair or to continuously feel like you're fighting for your life or mental health. But it only sucks if you are unwilling to make it a priority. Well, it might still suck but it will suck less when you see that glimmer of light.
I also know that many do prioritise this work and still struggle immensely while spending a fortune because the help or support you get sucks. Which is the perfect segway to lucky number seven.
Fundamental Seven: Trust
From multiple surveys I have sent out over the years with hundreds of responses, trust — or a lack of it — is probably the biggest barrier I see holding people back.
Now, I'm not suggesting you trust me — just because — or don't question the words I write, and I'm certainly not saying to kick back and relax and trust that The Universe will magically sort this shit out for you. I'm saying to trust yourself.
Trust can be sliced and diced in many ways — I'm pretty sure all roads lead back to 'self.' You don't trust yourself — your judgment, decision-making, discipline, work ethic, strength, RESILIENCE, etc. Nothing worked, so why would I even bother anymore, right?
Yes, you might not trust others because others have likely screwed you over in the past, but that doesn't mean you should punish yourself and never trust again. Because as "connected" as we all are, this world can feel extremely isolating and lonely — especially when trying to hide something so ferocious.
Yes. You will encounter many assholes in this lifetime. No doubt. They are everywhere. But so too are good people. Sometimes it just feels the good are a little harder to find because we become so attuned to seeing the bad. And, you know, you now have new age spirituality and woke people to contend with, which this study confirms may be best to avoid.
Trust in your ability to fuck up and make corrections and carve out a great life for yourself. Trust yourself to walk away from that which isn't helping. Trust that despite how shitty things might be today, you do have the strength to pick yourself up, brush yourself off, learn from the past, and move onwards and upwards to greater things. Trust that despite whatever shit may have happened, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Trust in your ability to flat out refuse to allow that lack of trust — which is easily justified — to keep you trapped in what can feel like a lost cause. Trust yourself enough to walk away from those who use your insecurities or vulnerabilities as weapons against you.
Trust you can make the difficult decisions that will propel you forward to a new stage in your life — a better stage — with improved mental health and greater happiness. Trust yourself to go the distance. And trust in your ability to face one of our greatest fears: Uncertainty.
Trust yourself and prioritise your mental health.
Do that, and you will reap massive rewards in the future. And frankly, I think that's worth celebrating.
On a completely different note, is it just me or am I starting to sound like Amanda Gordon?
The end.