How to End Panic Attacks for Good
One Panic Attack. That’s all it takes for your entire world to collapse around you—one. If you know, know. If you don't, imagine the Devil deployed an entire army to attack your body, mind, and spirit, with its sole mission set to complete and utter devastation. These bastards can be relentless, and therefore, must be tackled as a matter of urgency to avoid a spectacular psychological shit show unfolding down the road. So let's get into and do exactly that.
A Little Background
I can vividly recall my first panic attack the same way I can my last. Things get foggy in the middle due to a 13-year time frame and — jees; I don't know — perhaps thousands of attacks throughout.
I've had panic attacks out at clubs, bars, and restaurants. I have had them on buses, trains, and chairlifts. I've had them driving through roundabouts, over bridges, and on every single motorway in Ireland. I had them in exams and lectures, in conversations with strangers, and with my best friends. Not to mention meetings, giving presentations, on the phone, and out on dates — score! Truly relentless, if I was lucky enough to get to sleep, I'd often wake up in a pile of sweat having — you guessed it — yet another panic attack. And on more than one occasion, I've had to scramble into my parent's bedroom in the middle of the night in tears, terrified I was going to die.
I didn't shy away from getting help, either. I saw every type of specialist available, all of whom seemed to spin me the same story — that it was all in my head and it would pass.
Pass my ass.
The help I got was shit. So shit that it only made my reality significantly worse. You don't stagnate with panic — it's up or down, higher or lower. You get better or worse. 13 unrelenting years of anxiety ensued as I desperately scrambled to crawl out of hell.
Let’s just say I didn’t manage very well!
Unsurprisingly, on this journey, I picked up numerous precious lessons worth sharing with anybody who finds themselves facing a similar dilemma. Furthermore, having spent the last seven years helping others end their panic-induced nightmare, I've found myself in a position where I am more qualified to help than most of the self-proclaimed experts out there. So, if you think you're fucked, and all hope is lost, I beg of you to think again because, with the right approach and attitude, you can absolutely positively put an end to your panic attacks. And while I cannot provide you with a timeframe, I'll do my very best to provide you with a framework.
A Little Inspiration
When I met Suzanne, she was on leave from work due to her panic disorder. She had also seen a psychologist every week for a year prior and was still having, on average, two panic attacks a day.
One month later, the panic attacks had stopped, and Suzanne was back at work.
Why? And How?
First and foremost, she was willing to receive support and 100% committed—she made it her no.1 priority.
One of the key differentiators to my approach is that I have no interest in dragging this out longer than required. Yes, I'll ask questions, and yes, I will listen. Intensely. But then, we will devise a step-by-step playbook on how to attack this, and I will offer support every step of the way until the mission is accomplished.
Note: I want anyone reading to get tremendous value here. However, I feel obliged to point out and emphasize that there is only so much help one can get from a book or a blog.
A book or a blog can't ask you questions, uncover unconscious patterns, understand precisely what you are going through, or give you a tailored game plan for a prompt recovery while supporting you all the way. For this reason, above all else, I recommend working with a professional who knows exactly how to guide you safely through the storm. That said, this article is designed as a DIY to make the challenge you face far easier regardless.
So here are eight tips to help you put an end to your panic attacks for good.
1. Understand They Won't Kill You
Let's start with understanding. According to the Mayo Clinic, "A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.
Many people have just one or two panic attacks in their lifetimes, and the problem goes away, perhaps when a stressful situation ends. But if you've had recurrent, unexpected panic attacks and spent long periods in constant fear of another attack, you may have a condition called panic disorder.
Although panic attacks themselves aren't life-threatening, they can be frightening and significantly affect your quality of life. But treatment can be very effective."
For me, I was always anxious, and I hated it. However, a panic attack felt like anxiety on crack until I understood what was going on. That took five years. And while you likely understand already, it's worth repeating. And if you didn't know and thought you had a one-way ticket to the looney bin, you can rest assured and now focus your energy on doing what is required to get better.
2. Lean Into the Fear
Knowing and accepting they can't kill you should help ease the fear. If only a little. Now you have to lean into that fear. You have to open yourself up to feeling the sensations you dread, to relish and befriend them.
Acceptance in its purest form is when you stop trying to fight, deny, or run from your anxiety. Instead, you accept it's part of who you are today. It need not and should not define you or your identity. However, what you are experiencing is an undeniable truth too many try to deny. No matter how much it sucks, this is your reality, and you must accept and take full responsibility for the action required for change to occur.
Anxiety — and most definitely panic attacks — feed off your fear and resistance like a parasite. As much as you hate it, you have to grow to love it. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. Welcome the sensations you dread, sit with them, feel them, allow them to pass, and you'll soon realize sensations are all they are, brought on from a dysregulated nervous system, which — fortunately — can be repaired.
Our natural instinct is to fight, but you're already in flight. By doing what comes naturally, you only enhance the problem. That is unless you're in real danger. Shit's gone wonky, so we need to be smart—we need to befriend it, and we need to practice befriending it because it goes against everything that feels safe and appropriate.
The good news is the more you practice discomfort, the more comfortable you will become. The less you fear anxiety and panic attacks, the more your anxiety and panic attacks will subside.
3. Breathwork
Full disclosure, I'm a trained clinical breathwork practitioner with a strong bias towards breathwork. But that's because I have spent 20 years searching for the most effective tool to combat anxiety, and breathwork is by far the best.
Digest this for a minute: Our past experiences affect how we breathe, causing breathing patterns to become maladaptive. We breathe roughly, on average, 20,000 breaths a day. Our breath impacts the health of our entire endocrine and nervous system. Therefore, how we breathe impacts our future health and experiences. And most of it is unconscious. I.e., you can't decide you're going to be a better breather. You have to practice consistently to become a better breather.
When you lie someone down with panic or anxiety and ask them to breathe, their breath will be shallow, with no rhythm and little to no breath reaching the pelvic floor. The breath will be completely dysregulated because the nervous system is completely dysregulated. No ifs, buts, or maybes.
Many studies link panic disorder to dysfunctional breathing, so if you're going to skimp on anything, make sure it is NOT breathwork.
A simple — yet powerful — technique to start with is box breathing:
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhales for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds.
Hand on the belly to bring awareness and breath to your pelvis and repeat.
Practice for ten minutes every morning to build resilience in your nervous system and adjust the time accordingly. You can download the Breathe+ app to help you.
4. Identify the Root Cause
Why the hell is it happening in the first place? Are there specific traumas from childhood or adulthood that may be a contributing factor? Do you have PTSD or cPTSD? Are you in an unhealthy relationship? Is work simply too much? Or are you surrounded by assholes?
It baffles me how many "experts" insist they have the answer yet fail to mention the importance of looking inward and examining childhood, environment, temperament, etc. How can you possibly make lasting change without knowing or reviewing what's caused this in the first place?
What's going on in your life? What was your past? What is your present? What future are you moving towards?
Get curious about it all and seek to understand the forces at play. The answers are there. The sooner you find them, the sooner you can take appropriate action to correct them?
Access by clicking here.
5. Confront your Resentments and Learn to Forgive
The longer we endure anxiety and panic attacks, the more likely we will become resentful. Many can trace anxiety to childhood (and beyond), a strict upbringing, perhaps abuse, or over-protective parents. Maybe you were bullied and have developed deep insecurities around your intelligence, appearance, weight, etc. The list goes on.
If you hold resentment — and it may very well be towards those you love the most — you have to learn to let it go and forgive. Breathwork in a clinical setting can help tremendously. Psychedelics also if you're up for the adventure. Both can expedite the process tenfold.
A simple — yet powerful — cathartic process to help with offloading resentment today is to sit with a pen and paper and write out all your anger and pain with the aim of compassionately forgiving yourself and others. Get it all out of you.
This exercise alone helped remove a huge weight from Suzanne's shoulders, giving her greater clarity and direction to move through the necessary steps to end her panic attacks.
6. Practice Vulnerability
One study suggests "patients suffering from panic disorder are not inclined to ask for help and to rely upon others... are hardly able to express their affective needs... This relational style makes the disorder even more upsetting since the patient is unaccustomed to the need for help and support..."
Basically, panic is extremely isolating and — yet — persists precisely because we do our best to hide it. Suzanne was no longer fit to go to work because she felt she had to hide her panic attacks. This mindset and sense of isolation destroyed her and only ignited and fueled more panic attacks.
Note: Much of the vulnerability we see online is calculated bullshit to garner likes. Suzanne's experience offers a masterclass in actual vulnerability. Why? Because it required a vast amount of courage.
Her anxiety was born in childhood. Confronting her resentments afforded her great relief as she regurgitated a life's worth of repressed emotions using only a pen and a pad.
Suzanne then slowly — baby steps — started to open up and share her experience with friends she could trust in a safe environment. This action alone offered relief while lifting her confidence and providing momentum. She then summoned the courage to message her boss to explain her situation in a deliberate, intentional, and purposeful manner. And finally, she met with her boss to discuss.
It is important to note she came prepared with a solution that was also beneficial to her employer. Suzanne wanted to be a great employee, but until she confronted her vulnerabilities, she couldn't even go to work because she was home, having panic attacks, feeling like a failure, drowning in shame, terrified of the world.
By sharing some of her worries and the ridiculous stories she was caught up in catastrophizing, she could converse with her employer and allow herself to be met with compassion. She was not seeking special treatment or feeling sorry for herself. On the contrary, she was displaying crack-courage. And in doing so, the greatest weight she had held onto for years had been lifted. The panic attacks all but stopped, and she was ready to go back to work.
It took one month.
Please don't think a lifetime's worth of anxiety resulting from trauma evaporated in this time also. Keep your expectations in check, always. But also, know that it's possible to make life-changing progress in a short amount of time.
7. Practice Self-Compassion
Research shows self-compassion is a skill we can strengthen through practice. It is also one of the strongest predictors of mental health and wellbeing.
You have to understand this is not your fault. It is a complex and layered problem that could take weeks, months, or longer to resolve. Personally, I’m lightyears ahead of where I was, but I’m still chipping! It all depends on you — your specific circumstances and what happened along the way.
While the principles are the same, the approach can vary greatly depending on the variables. Who am I to say what that will be for you when I don't even know you?
Regardless, it would be best if you fought against the natural urge to beat yourself up because, while I will never deny the situation is far from ideal, I implore we can — and do — so often make it significantly worse on ourselves.
Self-compassion plays a massive role in recovery. A simple rule of thumb is to pay attention to how you speak to yourself and ask yourself if you would speak to someone you love in the same manner under similar circumstances? Practice speaking to yourself as if you were speaking to a loved one.
Breathwork, again, helps immensely because we tend to be more self-critical when our nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight.
8. Don't Neglect the Toolbox
Nothing is more frustrating when your world is falling apart than some tree-hugger telling you to run naked in the woods. And while I'm not suggesting you hump a tree, I highly recommend considering your overall health, including diet (gut health), hydration, fitness, etc. And then to work on developing habits that will help you feel comfortable in your body, such as yoga, meditation, walks, music, walks with music, walks with music and daydreaming, play, etc. Whatever makes you feel good and helps to relax your nervous system.
There's a lot there, I know. Please don't try to accomplish everything at once, or you'll only overwhelm yourself and begin to believe you’re a lost hope, which is bullshit. Be gentle. Go easy. Refer to this often if you feel it’s helped. You'll get there. And if this has helped to perk you up and inspired you into action, I’d love to hear from you, so please do get in touch and let me know how it goes.